When the Pursuit of Perfection Inhibits Our Best EffortWhile recently cleaning and organizing my office, I happened upon an old issue of Psychology Today containing a piece by Eric Maisel detailing the intellectual limitations many of us face in pursuit of our personal and professional goals [“The Smart Gap,” October 2013]. While reading, I began to think about how the idea of perfection often prevents us from striving for the best outcomes we are capable of…

Negative Core Beliefs: Agreeing to Disagree One of the central facets of negative-thinking patterns and Negative Core Beliefs comes not from the negative thought alone, but from our willingness to agree with it. For example, if I find myself uncomfortable and anxious in social situations due to a negative core belief that I will say something stupid or awkward and the people I am engaging with will think that I am indeed an idiot, the…

Screen Time vs. Me TimeWhile clicking through TED Talks on YouTube, I ran across this brief talk by Adam Alter on the amount of time we spend engaging with technology and some of the long-term effects it may have on us individually as well as its impact on society.Working with my clients, more and more I find that they are growing concerned about the amount of time they spend engaging with technology. This includes engaging…

When We Devalue Others, We Devalue Ourselves I recently came across this blog post from Brené Brown, adapted from a chapter of her Braving the Wilderness, and I was reminded how much of our current political discourse is dominated by such extremes in language. Throughout the course of my life, just up to a few years ago, I recall there being political disagreements and differing points of view, but things were never as intense as…

Three Causes of Loneliness and How to Overcome Them I have been thinking a lot lately about feelings of loneliness and how to overcome them. Over the years I have observed an increase in loneliness in my clients and amongst some of the people I know personally. In fact, a recent study has revealed that nearly half of all American adults reported feeling lonely, left out, and isolated. What is important to consider, when it…

5 Approaches to Managing Negative ThoughtsAll too often we find ourselves feeling anxious and overwhelmed at just the thought of engaging in the activities necessary to reach our goals and live out our dreams. If finding your way through life were easy, everyone would be doing it and you wouldn’t be reading this!One of the biggest mistakes we make when trying to change our thinking patterns and alter our Negative Core Beliefs is thinking that…

What is Childhood Trauma and How to Heal I was recently asked what exactly childhood trauma is. What constitutes childhood trauma and how does that trauma impact our lives as adults? While the Wikipedia page on childhood trauma provides an in depth and heavily-referenced treatment on the topic, I found this article from Very Well Minds which discusses the effects of childhood trauma. I believe it offers us a very clear insight into the nature of childhood trauma and…

As the Gender Pendulum Swings: True Equality and the Crisis of MenOver the years of working with hundreds, if not thousands of clients, I have come to believe that men deserve more praise, love, and compassion. If that sentences raises your hackles, hear me out first.Like most people, I have had the good fortune to grow up around men that were decent and honorable; great men who served their country, their communities, and families and…

The Power of Do It Now!: Why We Fail to Get Things Done One of the components of my MaxxMethod is Do It Now! This component is designed to aid my life coach clients in taking action and working towards accomplishing their goals and realizing their dreams. In my two decades of working with clients, one of things I hear the most is that people often understand what it is they desire and how want…

Searching for Love Outside of Yourself At the core of every individual is the desired for love. At our very foundation, as social beings, is the need to feel a sense of belonging, that we matter. There is no greater sense of purpose or belonging than the security that accompanies our knowing that we are indeed loved. In my years of working with clients, I have witnessed all too often, individuals who believe that if…

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