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Emotional Intelligence

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When the Pursuit of Perfection Inhibits Our Best EffortWhile recently cleaning and organizing my office, I happened upon an old issue of Psychology Today containing a piece by Eric Maisel detailing the intellectual limitations many of us face in pursuit of our personal and professional goals [“The Smart Gap,” October 2013]. While reading, I began to think about how the idea of perfection often prevents us from striving for the best outcomes we are capable of…

When We Devalue Others, We Devalue Ourselves I recently came across this blog post from Brené Brown, adapted from a chapter of her Braving the Wilderness, and I was reminded how much of our current political discourse is dominated by such extremes in language. Throughout the course of my life, just up to a few years ago, I recall there being political disagreements and differing points of view, but things were never as intense as…

Searching for Love Outside of Yourself At the core of every individual is the desired for love. At our very foundation, as social beings, is the need to feel a sense of belonging, that we matter. There is no greater sense of purpose or belonging than the security that accompanies our knowing that we are indeed loved. In my years of working with clients, I have witnessed all too often, individuals who believe that if…

Thoughts vs. Emotions: Understanding the Difference Can Make a DifferenceTwo facets of my MaxxMethod approach are thoughts and emotions. At the beginning of working on Personal Development, when asked how we feel, we often respond with a thought.Since many of us have trouble identifying the difference between the two, I thought it would be an important topic. This first step is becoming aware of their difference and how each influences and shapes our lives. We…

Understanding Emotional IntelligenceHow we manage our lives and interact with others lies in our ability to interpret our emotions and the emotions of others. Yet, nobody every teaches us. We are taught many things throughout school; however, we are not taught how to manage our emotions and thoughts. The management and understanding of our individual emotional circumstances as well as the emotional states of others is Emotional Intelligence and central to the work I do.Unlike…

What the Hell Do We Do with Our Emotions?If you’ve been following my blog, you may have read my “Secret to Healing Our Emotions” a lighthearted article on a serious topic that, unfortunately, carries a ton of stigma. We are often taught to avoid, deflect, and even numb our emotions in self-destructive ways.One of the issues we face when it comes to managing our emotions, particularly the difficult ones, is that we approach them with…

The Secret to Healing Our EmotionsHave you ever felt like you were going to faint or have a heart attack over a breakup, failed project, or embarrassing memory from the past? A feeling that is so uncomfortable that it is going to suck the life right out of you and literally put you in an early grave?Well, I have some good news: it won’t!Some emotions may bring you to your knees and make you feel…

4 Steps to Changing Negative Core BeliefsOne of the central facets of negative-thinking patterns and negative core beliefs comes not from the negative thought alone, but from our willingness to agree with it. For example, I am amazed at how often my clients consistently believe they’re not good enough. These are people who are often successful in their career, amazing attentive parents, and still do not think they are “good enough.” They’ve adopted this belief…

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